New York City Lessons from a Young, Unwise Intern: Part 1

1.    Just because you see a stranger’s dog, it does not mean you can pet it.
2.    Just because that said dog is in a store with you, it does not give you more of a reason to pet it.
3.  Just because that said dog may have played with friends in the doggie park, it does not mean that he pooped in there. Just ask the bottom of your shoe.
4.     If a male stranger likes your eyes, he will give you a bouquet of roses. After you get away from him, turn the corner immediately, and stomp on the flowers. They can be contaminated, and you’re a modern woman trying to make a means for yourself in the big city. You don’t need any damn flowers.
5.   If you are in Strand Bookstore, you will be approached and have your palm read. Make sure to check your location in the store because if the palm reader says you are creative and destined to be a famous writer, and you are standing in the art section with an ink stain on you shirt, it wasn't just a lucky guess.
6.   The pigeons are too comfortable with you and the squirrels are black.
7.   A cult in a pretty decorated van may sound enticing to join; however, before you sign off and become a member, be sure to read the “intention” they gave you.  If the paper “intention” tells you to try something “knew” instead of “new” every day, give them the cold shoulder and go to the gelato stand across the street
8.     Whenever you didn't pack your umbrella, it will rain. Whenever you didn't bring your jacket, it will be cold. Whenever you dressed warmly, you will sweat profusely. Whenever you decide to wear heals, you will get lost for an hour and get nasty blisters.  Whenever you are trying to find out how to get home, your phone will die. New York hates you just as much as you hate what it does to your bank account. Prepare for the worst.